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about
This is the first track of a new EP I've recently created. This song, and the rest of the EP are stepping into a more 'pop' direction than Kelp is used to. This is somewhat deliberate because I wanted to show that a poppy, maybe catchy little song is among the brushstrokes that I have in my arsenal. That main chorus idea is over 2 years old now. I knew I was gonna do something with it, but I didn't know it would be this song. I was listening to Tame Impala's 'The Slow Rush' fairly constantly at the time of writing it. It came more or less fully formed - the melody, chords and those chorus words: "can I pay for it later?" I reckon this came to me due to the advent of services like Klarna that allow you to buy now and pay later. When I considered this on an existential level, it made me think of the idea of impulsiveness, but coupled with anxiety. So, it's knowing your actions have consequences, but going through with it just to, maybe feel alright for even a little bit, at possibly a great cost. The original lyrics that followed this were "I just want to be nobody" - and this came as a result of, at the time, working long hours, gigging at weekends and the demands of being in a band and a band manager expecting, possibly too much, from me. I just wanted to be nobody, I just wanted some peace. Anyways that band broke up, and that song got shelved until very recently. I took it out and it sort of read like an entitled complaint from an outraged failure. So I leant into that and the words came together - eventually "I just want to be nobody" morphed into "wannabe nobody" which fit with the new meaning I was now able to percieve - it's an extended grievance from a WannabeNobody.
lyrics
Last thing I remember
I stopped short falling apart
With nothing but the moonlight
To fend off the dark this time
And I can’t call my friends
I mean like, what if they pick up?
Though I’m up to my neck in quicksand
I wouldn’t definitely say that I was stuck
Told them I’ll be making waves
But haven’t made a ripple in a pond
And secretly I knew it all along
But can I pay for it later?
I was trying to be somebody else
I’m sorry now
I’m sorry now
I’m looking in from the outside
Dunno how it feels to be “doing alright”
I got lost somehow
It doesn’t matter now
Climb a mountain tell no one
I live under a rock, just outside rock bottom
I’d like to see me dig my way out of this one
I mean, you get it but, you don’t really get it
You’ve never won
Am I the only one still playing by the rules?
And does quick and unsteady always lose?
I can’t believe that it’s up to me to choose
Just bury it beneath the other ones
Lying in my bed, I just wanna go home
Can I pay for it later?
I was trying to be somebody else
I’m sorry now
I’m sorry now
I’m looking in from the outside
Dunno how it feels to be “doing alright”
I got lost somehow
Doesn’t matter now
Can I pay for it later?
I’m a wannabe nobody
I’m sorry now
I’m sorry now
I’m looking in from the outside
Dunno how it feels to be “doing alright”
I got lost somehow
Doesn’t matter now
credits
released June 30, 2022
Written and Produced by Jordie Sunshine
Vocals by Daén
Talk Box by Jordie Sunshine
Mixed and Mastered by Niall Doran at Start Together Studios Belfast
Photography/Artwork by Aimi Mckeown
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